25, First of all you refer to events and things about my sitch that never happened nor are in any posts (my D having an eating disorder from the sound of it), you then tell me I ignored my W's depression while she suffered and I have no compassion. You seem to think that by my saying my D knows more than you think, she knows all that she should. She probably thinks that things will somehow get better and just go back to the way they were. Of course she needs to know that won't happen now. By ignoring it, I'd be teaching her a bad lesson. Honestly, I was less angry then I had been until you start going on about how I ignored my W's problems and scars. If you had any idea how much I went through before getting to the point where I need her money help more than I want her you would understand better. How many years of this craziness is enough? If my W hadn't spent like crazy on new clothes and shoes, spent money after I told her we can't afford something right now and emptied the account causing over drafts, etc.
I am not as angry today as yesterday but for Gods sake she went from what we agreed was bad but best to doing ONLY what SHE wants and what she wants has become horrible to me and my family! She has become totally unreasonable since her father entered the picture and this is the most serious stuff she will EVER do! She keeps getting angry over things that haven't even happened and doing things she can't take back, ever. In the last 5 days she has totally blown any chance that we will NOT get a divorce. She has forced me and her both bring outsiders into this, her her dad and me my parents. At times it actually seems like she is doing this just to get attention from her dad!
That doesn't mean I blame her father. It doesn't mean I'm not doing what I need to do. In that 5 days she went from doing something bad for everyone (separating) to the nuke option (full divorce in 60 days and moving out NOW), so yes, I'm a bit angry and upset. It's just ANOTHER betrayal in my eyes by this person who I've done so much for.
My D knows things are not good between her mom and I. She knows her mom has been acting badly for a long time. She knows because I told her that her mom is unhappy and wanting to feel better and looking for a way to do that. Now I need to tell her she has decided she wants to leave AND get a D. Also..... One of the biggest problems I'm having is my D isn't going to be able to go to the school she expected and her friends are at because, even if we could afford it, my W no longer thinks it worth the sacrifice in time and money for her to go. So, my D will have VERY LITTLE that doesn't change. She will have no friends in her new school (no matter if she stays with me or her mother), will go from only ever going to private school with at most 11 kids in her class to public school with up to 40! Not much will stay the same and this is the start of high school for her and she has always known the people she was at school with. They were like brothers and sisters. She is going to have to deal with her parents D AND all that and her mom dealing with her dad's cancer so she will be busy with that. The fact is her mom leaves her alone to fend for herself often. With our oldest, she never would have done that.
I'm so sick of the craziness. In the months leading to B-day, I had the co I worked for for 10+ years close unexpectedly, joined a start up which I had no idea what I was doing or what I was in for, had a vasectomy that I never wanted but did because my W said it would make her feel better and she had zero thoughts about separation or D! 12 weeks later was b-day. My life has been turned upside down and my W has been the worst of it. I feel like I'm being punished but don't know what for. So, anger is not an unusual response for someone in my position. Yes, I need to stop and move on but considering I had just wrapped my head around my W saying she was going but not going to file to not only did she see a L she filed, 5 days ago I think I'm doing OK.
