If it is any consolation, the kids never act out for h. The older 2 have told me they are afraid of him so they say they don't want to get yelled at or punished.
I think you are doing a great job with s. That must be a challening situation. However, you are committed and sound like a great mom. You are right-it will get better:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Same. I notice the kids are afraid of their mom. Afraid to act out with her because of how she gets. Especially my son. With me? I've seen the other side and I appreciate the honesty even when I don't like it
Know what? There's a difference between parents even in the best of times. This isn't the best of times. You'll need to figure out what is dangerous and highly important (worth your time) and what is just different.
To do otherwise, will drive you insane. I do realize it's even more difficult with a child with special needs, but you don't need to take the BS that your H is throwing at you. He does things his way and you do them yours. You won't see eye to eye on these things, right?
Also keep in mind this is a point in time. What your H is going to learn is that he is seeking peace and he won't find it the way he is going about it. Your S will equalize things with his father at some point. You'll need to be there being you. When its all said and done.. your son will thank you for that and he will know you love him enough to do the things you're doing. You have two children with your H right now.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I should be used to this by now but it still blows my mind that someone who used to, be sweet and considerate can turn so obnoxious. He ate cookies last night and left an empty box on the shelf and crumbs and broken cookis on the floor. He has become so ridiculous I almost want to laugh. In fact I often do.
I am working late tonight and wanted to talk to s before he went to bed. It took an hour for h to, respond. I thought surely s would be in bed but no he is up and eating... at almost 9 pm!!
S and I go back to his therapist tomorrow and then we can have a relaxing night since Thursday is one of h's nights with other woman.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Clearly your h contacted my h about how to leave a big mess. Good luck at S 's therapist. Hope it's a productive visit:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
GB- I know! I thought of your h's candy wrappers when I saw mess.
A funny yet sad story.. Yesterday s and I had veggie soup for dinner. (Yes it is 90 degrees but he loves it!). I couldn't find bowls and s says "oh I can find them" and went to play room and pulled a bunch of dirty plates out from under the bed. He said "whoa that is such a mess. Who is getting a sad face?"
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
I slipped up and called h "sweetie" this morning. It was just a good morning. H changed my tire for me. Then s and I were rushing out to head to school and h was walking the dog and it just slipped out " hey sweetie do miND taking trash to the street." I don't know if he caught it. I was holding in the tears as I drove s to school.
As we were walking in I noticed that the pavement was all chalked up with inspirational messages like "believe in yourself" and "hope courage and perseverance." This week is EOG testing for the kids but it feels like the universe was talking to me as well.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Juliegayle, allowing your H to live in the house and still carry on a relationship with the OW is unacceptable, in my opinion. Read some of the threads Cadet posted in regards to that. I feel that should be your very FIRST boundary. Without that, what other boundaries can you set?
We had a good session with s therapist but then a very bad night. The kid has so much anger he doesn't know how to deal with. He has been in bad for the last hour screaming DAD DAD Dad nonstop. Nothing I do is working. I finally had to give myself a timeout and walk away.
He asks over and over where dad is. I tell him dad misses, him too and will give him a kiss when he gets home. , but that is not what he wants to hear. He wants to know WHERE dad is and "out" is not an acceptable answer.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
