Forgiven lazy husband - reconcilliation possible?

[rayzzz]

So yeah that whisper you just heard is me whispering "I love you" to the empty side of our bed (WAW is out tonight)...man that feels good and I try not to crack too often but in between detaching I just need a breather!
Today went well, was out for my p/t work for most of the day, came back played some video games and watched tv with kids and read them to sleep. I also did some research on validating as my "systems based practice" (see Jamesclear.com, fancy word for habits & goals) is to:
-give her space
-validate her feelings
-GAL like crazy
-180 in my new quiet calm attitude (usually type A super loud and exuberant) getting hold of my grumpy nature and changing it.

so here's what I found if you su$k at validating like I do (maybe most men? :P)

This is an excerpt from pages 103-104 from my book When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. This excerpt comes from my (long) discussion of validation and how and why to do it. In the book, I outline a six step process to validation. This is a part of “Step 3: Making a Validating Statement”:
Examples of validating statements:
- That must have made you feel really angry.
- What a frustrating situation to be in!
- It must make you feel angry to have someone do that.
- That’s so difficult for you.
- Wow, how hard that must be.
- That’s stinks!
- That’s messed up! (or stronger language if you are so inclined)
- How frustrating!
- Yeah, I can see how that might make you feel really sad.
- Boy, you must be angry.
- What a horrible feeling.
- What a tough spot.
- That must be really discouraging.
- I bet you feel disappointed.
- Rats, I know how much that meant to you.
- That’s so painful for you.
- Tell me more. (shows interest)
- Wow, she must have made you really angry.
And, of course, many, many more. If you want a validating statement to feel “true” make it about the truth of the situation for the other person. That truth is the way they feel about the event.

So there you go DBers have at it and use it to win back the WAS!

all in all a good day. Reminding myself to be slow and steady and patient in love....