The list is good but I would say add something that's more about taking care of you. Something that's a treat. You deserve it. Why would anyone else value you if you don't?

In the future when you start believing everything your mind tells you, remember this experience with your MIL. You were so sure the R with her was over, that's the story your mind was telling you.

It wasn't true. So when you start getting into that victim thing, challenge yourself. Ask, What do I know to be true? In the case with MIL, all you knew was you hadn't talked to her for a couple of months and your H had told her he filed. Putting 2+2 together and coming up with 6 isn't helpful.

Another tool to develop is choosing your thoughts, which 25 mentioned. With practice, you can do this. When that self-judgment starts up, refuse to listen to it. It takes work, a lot of work but it will make your life so much better. You control your mind, your mind doesn't control you.

You're moving in the right direction, but it is like moving through molasses sometimes.

Last edited by labug; 06/04/14 05:24 PM.
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss