hope456 - he filed, what now?

[SemperFi00]

The frightening question we are implicitly asking ourselves was,
"If I'm so great, why is the person who knows me best, leaving me?"

And the answer is usually not a satisfactory or useful one. Your h might be leaving you b/c of unresolved issues HE has, or b/c HIS perceptions are skewed, or b/c there's a wacky imbalance of chemistry in HIS brain.

B/C if the answer were really all about how you are, secretly, a monster, we'd know b/c you are incredibly self aware and insightful. You've been engaged in some BRAVE inner work. Whatever your flaws, HIS choices really are HIS, and you have to get out of his sandbox to let him work it out. Besides, you have your own sandbox to take care of, right?

I struggle with feeling like I'm not a good enough mother; if I were, I would be able to provide her the family life she deserves.

Were you working on these issues before the BD? IF so, how do you feel about the IC you have? There is a workshop you might consider. It's called "Essential Experience", in Philadelphia. ITs a personal growth workshop for individuals, not couples (though couples do attend. And when you get the tools to make yourself happier, it spills over into your M, and other r's in your life.)

hope456 and 25yearsmlc, the two comments above really resonated with me and have given me more to think about. Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences.