In my sitch (and all are different) I learned – through Betsey’s fabulous cell phone pep talk - when there are true emotions that they HAVE to see, Bob needs to stay in a closet.
In general, when I greet Sting I try to let Bob do it. If I start out all excited-like it turns us both into a better mood and leaves us feeling a little less drained by the conversation. It also expresses good vibes right from the start. Think of how CBH felt when her husband would say ‘yeah’ when he answered the phone…not good.
A good reason to use the Bob voice is to get their attention. The first few times they are stunned…and after that they seem to mimic. Everyone gets caught up in the game show attitude and once they give you their attention they begin to see some changes.
I have never found Bob detrimental to my sitch, but I could see how he might be able to. If there is something serious to be discussed, it would be almost an insult to do it with Bob. Keep in mind, the DB personality has to remain present, but Bob needs to make himself scarce. My WAH needs to see and experience true emotion, just not crazymaking emotion, in order to be less afraid of those emotions.
I’ve only tried this on one occasion, but Tuesday when Sting cancelled the plans that he had made all on his own Betsey suggested leaving Bob in the closet. I thought about this and realized she was right. If I came out with “HI Sting! How are you? Listen, I have this really huge problem with you…”, and said it all in a Bob voice, the message wouldn’t hit home. How do you explain to someone that you are disappointed when you sound like you just won the lottery? What would entice him to treat me differently the next time around?
Ask yourself the ultimate DB question. Will this bring me closer to my goal? If being upbeat and happy will continue the conversation, keep your H’s attention, and make him laugh – go for BOB! But, if he needs validation or you need to have a serious discussion – ask Bob to stay away for the time being.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
