I was a great husband before the A (emotional- not physical). At least I thought I was. Other wives envied what my wife had too- I made great money, was extremely thoughtful and generous, surprised her with gifts, I keep myself in good physical shape etc. etc., blah blah blah. The thing is, her most important needs were outside of what I was doing. These things were all important to her, yes; just not the MOST important.
As I indiccated previously, most of what upset her were the "love busters" I engaged in. I'm not going to go through them all, but I will highlight one- I would "bully" her with my point of view. I would argue like an attorney to make my point on any issue. The reason I highlight that is because I see it in you, based on your posts. You go on and on about how great you are, faultless in fact, while at the same time arguing at length about how your need for sex should be met and why. The reason I think your wife is taking a stand against your pressuring? Because she can control it. I'm going to guess that your W has some resentment about you always having to have the last word. Maybe I'm wrong (I'm sure you'll argue that I am), but I'd ask the person you're married to instead of someone on a chat board. if she won't answer a relationship question (not an interrogation, mind you!) then I think you've got your answer- and bigger problems.
Get through HN,HN, wifey too, if she's interested. Take it in with an open mind and see if it helps your M situation.
Additionally, check out Michelle's "The Sex Starved Marriage". Hopefully, you'll find some answers.
