I wish I could help you, mate. I don't think I have any good advice, I really can't relate.
But I do recognize the part about her saying she feels pressured. It's tricky. I don't have good advice on that, either. My wife feels pressured to have sex because after 6 weeks I told her that I hurt and felt rejected after reading that here and on many other places. So we weren't having sex, but me communicating with her my pain put pressure on her.
So now I feel like I either have to be unhappy and rejected every single day, or expect her to magically change out of the blue in spite of me so our marriage can thrive. Both options suck. I feel like if I truly loved myself, I wouldn't put up with this, which means leaving her. That's not what I want, and not wanting to leave her I don't think means I don't love myself, and it sounds like you're having the same issues.
