Still working on the dam yard. I think I'll never get it finished. Is like my own personal hell pulling all these dam weeds. But it feels good to work and get out in the fresh air.
So H and I have been civil the Last few days and it is strange. Beyond strange. I almost feel like I am in another world.
D had a soccer tournament today. H called me yesterday and asked me if I would bring some fruit and stuff. I went to the tournament and H was nicer to me than he has been in years. But it was good for the kids to see us getting along.
Aside from that H doesn't seem much different. He was constantly angry at the players and the coaches. Note that the team is made up of 6 year olds for God sakes. S came over to sit by me several times because H was driving him nuts with his b*tching. S kept telling H to chill out because they were only 6. H said that was no excuse.
Like I said it's weird to have H be nice. I don't expect it to last. I'm sure he wants something. But I am going with it for the benefit of the kids.
Makes me wonder what is going on. WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
It is nice to be working outside and making things look real nice around your new place. To me, it gives the place a feel of love and a pop of color! Nice going!
As for H, just continue what you've been doing...being civil, but keep your left eye open at night.
So H and I have been civil the Last few days and it is strange. Beyond strange. I almost feel like I am in another world.
It's part of the see-saw that goes on. Push/pull sort of thing. I've seen similar, but like you I've developed a sixth sense about it and don't trust a thing that happens.
Even for the sake of the kids has boundaries. Try not to lose sight of that. There'll be a test (but you know that already).
Glad you're getting outside and enjoying the weather!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Oh I am getting outside all right. I overdid it. I put sunscreen on my face but forgot my neck and upper arms. Oh well.
Started clearing out the area D calls her throne. It was severely overgrown and now looks cute. It has a huge maple tree which I thought could hold a swing or something. I'll think about it. I am not one to "force" landscaping on an area. I am just clearing areas out and analyzing the areas underneath to see what could work.
Did a lot of cooking this afternoon. Lots of veggies (brussels sprouts), guacamole, salsa, chicken, etc. No desserts, yet. Kids ate ravenously when the got home. Makes me wonder if they ever eat when they are with H.
Speaking of H, he was really nice again today at S's game. Even bought me a Diet Pepsi. He wants something. I know he wants me to be flexible about the money for the credit card. I am hoping he can refinance this house. He told me the other day it looks good, but this lender talks a good talk. Let's hope the underwriter goes for it.
And yes, I am Keeping my boundaries. I will let you guys know if anything weird pops up. And...knowing H I am sure it will.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
More projects y'all. Since D's birthday is right around the corner, I am starting the piñata for the party. I made a Monster High Skullette last year. This year's project isn't as challenging. D wants a red, white and blue party this year. So I am making a star piñata with red and white stripes and a blue area with white stars. I cut out the patterns tonight while D was in the bath. I'll piece together the frame while she's at her dad's tomorrow.
The past few days have been busy. H has been out of town and he asked me to let the dog out. He didn't board the dog at the kennel because he didn't want to pay for a kennel and because the dog's vaccinations are due and he can't board the dog without an exam. I still want the dog, but now I had to pay my share of the mediator and my share of the kids' soccer tuition. So H let the dog roam free in the house and asked me to run S there to let him out and I told H I would take the dog to the dog park and give him some exercise. Apparently the dog was mad about something because even though we made sure the dog did his business outside (numerous times), the dog left lots of presents for H around the house. Serves him right. He called to ask me about it and I said indeed the dog did go outside numerous times. That's what you get for being a cheap B*stard.
H is supposed to have the rough draft of the MSA completed and sent off tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should be hopeful or nervous? I still don't trust him and the last thing I want is more drama. I am finally feeling comfortable enough to be direct with him for the first time in years.
He also threw my attorney under the bus again and said his attorney knows several clients that used to have my attorney but said he drug out proceedings and he was unethical. Really. And your attorney from the "attorney's for men" club are overflowing with ethics? Whatever. I'm not taking the bait. But I do want this done and overwith.
My emotions have been on a roller coaster lately. I don't think I can be friends with H. I don't like the person I am when I am around him. It's hard not to get sucked into the drama.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I really had to smile - what is it with these guys - my xh also could not (and still cannot) resist criticising my lawyer - post divorce he even wrote to her pointing out some things he believed she had done incorrectly. Really? She thought it was hilarious. His lawyer is perfect, of course.
Pinata sounds nice!
Hang in there - these guys are cuckoo, and not capable of being anyone's friend. I have discovered that they are only nice when they want something, as a rule.
I am thinking it would be perfect to introduce your STBXH to GB's H...they have a lot in common with littering their homes. What gives with those two men?!!
So H sent me the language for the MSA. It looks okay to me, but then again, I am not a lawyer. H did put in language that he is not seeing maintenance at this time, but that can change if the situation changes. Great. So he'll probably end up losing his job and I'll have to pay him and take care of him. Yuk.
I do want to get this done, but I can't help but feel sad about this. Such a waste. H hopped on board the D-train and never looked back. I feel odd that I still have emotions and sadness about it.
Maybe after all this angst and fury this is just me trying to find myself after the storm.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
H did put in language that he is not seeing maintenance at this time, but that can change if the situation changes
Does this just apply to while the divorce is in process, or after the divorce is done? No way would I agree to the possibility of having to provide maintenance 2 or 3 years down the road.
On the other hand, if this just means if he loses his job next week he can change his mind, I'd get the divorce done ASAP before his MLC self gets booted from his job.
I'm no lawyer, so take your attorney's advice on this.
I am not sure, KML. It's rather vague wording. It states:
"H [sic] is not requesting maintenance at this time, but leaves open his right to request it during the period of time he has an obligation to WH [sic] based on any appropriate substantial change in circumstance."
I don't think this is gonna fly. So if he loses his job I have to support his wacky @$$? I don't know what the law says about this. My lawyer wants to discuss it, but I don't want it to turn into some costly battle.
It's always something with this wacko.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
