Wife is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT? II

[PeterV2]

Dev, you're doing well. We all have our moments which we realize we shouldn't have opened our mouth. It takes great restraint. It's absolutely critical not to even mention the OM. It's even more critical not to think of the OM. That's a surefire way to drive yourself crazy. I know. I do it all the time and I'm trying my best to stop-thought. When drawn to think about the OM stop your thoughts and focus on another area of your life that's not in turmoil.
As for cake eating, that's also a challenge. Offering validation is feeding her cake. I would think that cutting that out for a week and see what happens would qualify as an experiment. I would think that more distancing and less interaction with W would also be called for. Detach. Only deal with her on kid issues that are absolutely necessary. When you come home and she's there, just say hi and say she can go now. Don't linger with her - go do something - laundry, dishes, anything. Just limit your interaction. Just quoting the 180 manifesto here.

Affairs are like an addiction. The addict will not admit there's a problem until they hit rock bottom. You have no control over that. But you also should not be an enabler. By withdrawing from the fray you leave her on her own to face the consequences of her behavior. No rescuing. No validating. Just be civil and pleasant and be happy. Whistle while doing the dishes while she's standing there waiting to leave.
I know it's hard. Seems we're all going through this crepe together. Read some of the advice Sandi gave me on my thread. There's gold there. (Thanks Sandi)