Forgiven lazy husband - reconcilliation possible?

[rayzzz]

So we told her parents about our separation tonight and as soon as WAW said "I believe our separation is going to be permanent " the wind blew out of my inLaws sails. I tried to add "This is not what I want" and then before I could help myself tried to get an assurance "who knows maybe in 3, 6 or 9months feelings will change. I don't want this separation to be permanent"
cue eyes rolling

Then my FiL just started making plans on where the kids will sleep when my WAW moves in and how they will help look after them.....

man. I am sure they saw this coming with how I wasn't pulling my weight around with providing for my family so inconsistently.

Oh well, you're right Sandi they just backed up their daughter.

Mind ya I did great tonight. spoke only a few words here and then, bit my tongue for the most part and only slipped in a jab here and there .I wish i didnt but they were minor infractions during a super hard sad time so I am gonna go easy on myself.

I know this 180 and "do something different" is completely freaking her out because I am usually the chatterbox and tonight, on such a stressful night, I just let her initiate conversations draw answers out from me...just the one sentence ones.

She just left to her friends house for the night, wanted to debrief how everything went and I just put on my plastic smile and said "well like you said it is what it is( our disclosing talk)" She was super frustrated then and I didnt mean to push her buttons, I was just trying to be thoughtful and not freak out and be loud like I usually am. She left very grumpy and when she said she wasn't doing well I practiced my validation : "That was pretty hard on you. yeah me too"

ok so I am testing my blackout curtains to go midnight dark in the next couple weeks when I move out end of June. I love her so, but pulling back is changing alot of our dynamics and now our relationship is on a different script. scary but amusing and encouraging at the same time. Ok off to debrief with my counsellor friend now.