KGirl - Movin' On and Out!

[KGirl]

Ugh. Twice in the past two days, H has left his phone out and it light up/buzzed with a notification. I know better, but I looked over anyway to see what it was buzzing about. It was a notification that OW/coworker/EA/"just a friend, but I've thought about telling her how I feel"/whatever she is had sent him a message via Words with Friends. I know it doesn't matter at this point. He doesn't want to be M so what he's doing is irrelevant. BUT, when we had our last big R conversation in March he told me he wasn't friends w/ her anymore and wasn't talking w/ her anymore. All I can think of now is what a liar he is. And he says he's going to use this time to just think about himself and what he wants and has no intention of dating because "he's still married"... but yet he's still talking with her.

One of his big issues with me is that I don't trust him enough. Why does he believe that I should trust him when he's lying to me? He is not worthy of my trust. And again, I know I shouldn't let it bother me, it's irrelevant. I took a few hours to go do errands hoping I'd feel better, but as soon as I came home and saw his stupid face I just wanted to yell at him and call him out on his lying.

Friday could very well be the last time we ever see each other face-to-face. There are a lot of things I want to say. Pretty sure I shouldn't say any of them:
-that if things change, he should let me know and I still want to figure it out.
-however, I'm not going to wait around forever.
-that nothing will EVER happen unless he ends his friendship w/ OW because of how it has hurt me and us, but he seems to be incapable of doing that
-that if he wants to be trusted, start acting trustworthy and pull your head out of your ***
-that I wish him luck finding his "happiness" (moreso in a sarcastic way than a sincere way)
-have fun w/ OW, because one kid and another on the way is not going to mean less responsibility. Hard to spend hours every week on fantasy sports and video games when you have an infant to take care of. Try not to screw up her family, too.
-and other not-very-nice and accusatory things of that nature.
Instead, I'll just not say anything and be polite but distant as I finish packing up my stuff.