It's your emotional outburst in trying to relieve your anger that's the concern. Did that help your case at all?
Nope, sure didn't. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I'm not particularly prone to anger/outbursts...but that's not saying much.
Originally Posted By: labug
Anger is OK, it's how we express it that is the important piece. Do you see that? How could you have handled it differently?
I think if I was going to address her being out/coming home so late without any contact at all, which at this point I'm wishing I hadn't, then at the very least I should have done so by first acknowledging that by and large she has made HUGE changes regarding the partying and going out. And stayed calm. The more I'm looking at this, the more I'm seeing how much I let the past affect me... This has been my issue in our M, so I let this one "incident" become about something larger. Instead of it being one isolated thing, I let it become representative of...the culmination of...all the other similar things that have happened during our M. And that's what my anger was about. It wasn't about what happened last night, it was about what has happened on so many other nights in the past.
I don't deserve to be punished for my past mistakes...but neither does she.
Ugh. The more I'm thinking about and processing this the more I wish I'd just STFU.
((( )))If it's any consolation, we usually tend to keep doing these things until we learn how to do it better.
It can start as simply as recognizing in everyday life how you feel anger, where it starts and then working with it. Feelings it, letting it go and then searching for what you are really angry about and then addressing that.
About this: I'm not particularly prone to anger/outbursts. Is that completely true or do you have anger that you just don't express?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
