Thanks Claire, GB, and CSan. I appreciate your support.
I'm feeling very stuck. I want my M to work. I've tried to convince myself that I would be OK reconciling after a D, but I'm not sure that I would. In many ways, I feel like going through with a D would mean that this relationship really is done. I don't know how I would ever trust my H not to do this again if he actually goes through with it. I mean, really, how do I know that he truly means his vows the second time around? They obviously didn't mean enough to him this time.
I also look at stories of others who have about the same timeline as me and they seem so much stronger and seem to have fewer backslides and it makes me wonder if I'm not really as committed to this as I want to believe. I've never thought of myself as weak, but I'm really feeling that way lately. I can't visualize a future where this doesn't feel painful and wrong and not meant to be.
