Wife in MLC and ready to leave #4

[Georgiabelle]

Hi Matt,

I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. I can tell how angry and and hurt you are and that is completely understandable. You've been given some great advice regarding talking to your Ds. It appears you guys have not told them you are splitting up, correct?

I don't envy you on having that conversation. My h was not interested in telling my 3 kids under 10 and I had to do the talking. When I told them we needed to speak to them, they asked me if we were having another baby. I had to fight back tears then just as I do now typing that. I hated seeing their little faces look so devastated and dejected and I kept it pretty simple. Afterwards, all 3 of my kids were sobbing and the man who had cried about everything had a smirk on his face. Left the room and tweeted if people thought it was cold outside, then they should be in his house. And sent another tweet that these kids don't understand how important his "happiness " is and that he hated living here. I realize this isn't a feel good story-just letting you know it's painful and you will get through. You can do this!

In regards to how much to tell, please heed the advice of others regarding your w. You girls love their mom as they should and in time they will see everything as it is. It sounds like their mom has had issues for quite some time. Don't thnk they won't notice. Always take the high road. It really is the best road. And try to consider before doing and saying anything if when you do, you can put your head on your pillow each night and say "I did the best I could and I gave it my all. That's all I can do." That's not to say you lie for or defend your wife. Just don't interfere with your Ds r with your W. Remind your girls you are always there for them and love them. Your actions will speak volumes to them.

One last thing.... When I came here I had it stuck in my head that I wanted my h to feel the repurcussions for his choices. It is a feeling many of us have at some time or another. I remember reading several times someone saying not to worry about that as that's not your job. It isn't. I know you want you W to realize she's making a mistake and hurting so many . And in her mind this is a step necessary to achieve the ever elusive "happiness." Maybe she realizes it and maybe she doesn't. That's not your job. Life will show her many things.

Hang in there. Focus on you and your girls. Take deep breaths. Good luck on the job search!