This weekend my H is supposed to be here. Which means not much as he could just as easily change his mind and say I am pressuring him when I ask to confirm. However he has been more friendly and less stressed sounding on the phone the last few weeks and even returned a call he missed from me which is a first so maybe he is thawing.
So I need some advice.. he says because we don't discuss the relationship he wastes his time except discuss seems to mean he tells and I agree. I don't do that.
He is a classic conflict avoider and this conflict is obviously stressful for him.. even though he has caused it.
I validate his feelings but still express mine in as non confrontational and calm way as I can.
The times he has been here since BD I have organised a concert or dinner with friends or something like that so the tension is not so constant. He was critical and said how can we talk if I have things organised yet if there is nothing organised he sits and reads the news or texts on his phone which I find pretty offensive. The last time I left him to his reading and texting so then he complained I wasn't there to talk.
I am leaving the talking to him.. So how to proceed to keep the friendly feeling, keep the pressure off, allow for discussion.. not pursue.. It is su h a balancing game.
