The most important thing you have to learn is that DBing is about change. Changing yourself to change the dynamic. And I'm not talking about superficial changes. Changes that she didn't like about you in the first place. Change those behaviors first before anything else.
Make those changes for LIFE and not just to get her back.
No thats a 100% that I will do.. she still has not told me its on.. so I am still on the change verge.
To be honest this experience is teaching us all something that we would never have done without the wake up call we required. Changes are being made in order to help us be better people and I realise the concept fully.
I am even changing things about myself that she never complained about. I honestly believe I am so different in comparison to myself prior D talks.
Sometimes you have to be strong when you don't have a choice and every hardship in life makes you nothing but stronger.
The pain I went through and I'm sure some of you guys went through even more as I've only been married nearly a year some of you perhaps over decades, is so unbearable but it eases as days go by, I wish divorce never existed and everyone could live happily in harmony with each other. But I guess lifes tough and love is tougher.
I think my marriage might just work from the looks of it but I might be jumping the gun here and usually I do and mess it all up but I hope one day if it does work, find out what was going through her mind during this time and fully understand the emotions and thought process and reveal that to you guys so some people know what they're up against.
I nearly gave up one day but its good not to, its never too late.. I spoke to one of my work colleagues and he told me that he was with his lady, I say lady as they never married, for about 3 yrs and they broke up but they got back together after 19yrs!! Theres always hope and I guess in times like that its not worth the wait.. I guess thats why the changes are important, because they are for yourself. Let them go and if you really meant much to them and there was a part of them that deeply loved you, I believe they will come back, time is just something that ticks but its also a good healer.
I hope we all live to be happy with or without our wife/husband.
