Wife in MLC and getting ready to leave #3

[25yearsmlc]

^^^^^ yup, exactly.

This^^...

Read my last post to you again, please. Your wife is either not herself or she's been very sick for a long time. Stop all the focus on HER and don't blame her to your d's. They love their mom and she is THEIR role model even more than your FIL was your wife's!

Don't forget that by bashing her to your kids (which your wording was doing), you'll be setting your d's up to feel abandoned, unloved, and perhaps repeat the same thing, like their mom did. Then the cycle won't break. You have to help them by being their rock , and kids know who the rock is.

Don't do this speech without your wife there. I mean, if you HAVE to, then follow the above suggestions b/c your way hurts your girls MORE, not less.

Also
Your review of your mistakes isn't as deep as I'd hoped it would be. You essentially blame your w for all of your behavior, as if she caused it all and as if you had no choice. You did have a choice. Even in the context of "walking on egg shells", you had choice and you cannot keep all this blame game going.

Besides, I'm SURE your wife would probably say something different. Can you tell us ONE thing SHE would say about you?

Dig deeper on that.

Looks as if you took the path of least resistance, and put your kids needs far behind your own need to avoid rocking the boat.

Conflict avoidance, in my opinion, leads to MORE conflict or seething resentment and ends up blowing up in our face.

But TODAY you are asking about what to tell your d's.
And you have gotten some great advice to modify your proposed comments, a lot.

Please heed their advice...and GOOD LUCK.

If things with your wife have been as bad as you say, for as long, then I don't know what you fear so much about a divorce, other than financial issues...which is going downhill fast anyway, correct?

I do support your move for primary custody. From what YOU say here, your wife won't object much, will she?