Hi guys, Just spent my day emailing different lawyers. First step as the one I had an appt. with turned out to be hers! As for how I'm going to tell my D's about this...well, that won't be easy. They know something is up but not that it's nearly as bad as it is. I keep asking my W to talk to them and she just doesn't ever want to do it.
I think this is what's best..."You need to know that things between your mom and I aren't getting better. I know that I told you that my dad was going to pay to send you to (school she wants to go to) but I don't think that can happen now. Your mom doesn't think it's as important as in the past, before high school and we just can't afford it now. Your mom now wants to not only leave here and live somewhere else, she also wants to end our marriage. This doesn't mean she doesn't love you, it's not about you but about her and I. We both want what's best for you and may not always agree on what that is but I can tell you I will always take what you want into account. You will always be my daughter and I will always be a part of your life, you mean the world to me and that will never change. Things are going to be very different and we don't know yet what is going to happen, where your mom will live, where you will live, how you will stay a part of both my and your mom's life. I know it's hard not knowing and I would have moved heaven and earth not to have to put you through this but sometimes there is just nothing that can be done to stop bad things from happening. For now just know that I'm here and if you have any questions or want to talk I'm always available and I promise to always tell you the truth as best as I know it."
I don't know what I will say if she asks about why my dad can't help with the school as the answer to that is because her mom went to a lawyer when she swore she wouldn't and now that money needs to go there and not to her school! (yes, I know, blaming her again but damned if we hadn't talked so long about it and it just changed overnight!) How I will answer why questions as I just don't know myself how things got this bad, how her mom changed so quickly and so completely the things she had always said she felt about marriage and divorce. I guess I can just tell her she has to ask her mom about that. I really don't want to say anything that hurts her or her relationship with her mom but I will not lie to her. I will tell her if she asks that I do still love her mother, that I don't now or ever think I could hate her and that I just don't know why things are like they are between us. This isn't what I want but that doesn't mean it won't happen. God, this is going to be harder than I thought!
As for job, I have been on line and looking. I need time but I don't have much of it. Can you believe my W asked ME to call her car finance co. because they are saying she owes more than she should? She also wants me to find out about the last school payment as there isn't money in that account any more. She needs to face the new reality that SHE has brought about. She decided to take over paying those bills, she needs to see how this works! I have been the one doing this for years and she wants to screw me AND get my help?
I'm going to see if I can just take my W off the account I already have as our tax return is supposed to go to that account! Too late to change that! I will call my parents again tonight as they were away this weekend. Going to be a hard night as I must talk to my D14. My older one is coming home in a few days as well but she isn't going to be as surprised as my other D.
