It's a great point Sandi, and I need to be reminded of it. I completely relate to Maybell, and I too realize it really accomplishes nothing. If anything, it creates the burden that created some of the problem in my situation. I understand this.
I guess, as part of my detachment, it's better if I have no reliance on her. I believe that is part of the definition of detachment anyways.
So my question would be, the fine art of limiting cake eating, and maintaining boundaries. I don't want to play family while we are on this pathway. My WAW tends to want to do this. And my stich is complicated by her mental health, which goes up and down.
I feel her family, financial needs and probably some of her emotional needs, especially when I validate previous issues, are being met by me, while her emotional and sexual needs are being met by the OM. I validate her concerns about previous issues because they are legitimate issues where I made mistakes during our M. I made several mistakes, which I'm still working on. While this continues, I don't see her having any need to make any changes, as she is having many of her needs met, by different people.
