Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

Clearly we LBS' cycle too. After a few good days I'm back to being down with low PMA.

H was over all weekend as we had events and a party for the kids to kickoff summer. He was helpful with everything but a bit grumpy. Almost seems like he's going backwards a little bit- reminded me of when he was irritable and short with everyone a few years ago. Got stressed out by little things and was "ancy". I do know Heart's Blessing talked about cycling back through stages as they are on their journey so maybe he really isn't going backwards.

So anyway- I'm not sure if my mood is mirroring his or if I am just stressed. Was on call so didn't sleep well and have some house repairs and bills to get figured out that are dressing me. I also notice that when he is around more I get more tense- it shouldn't be that way but I feel like I have to put on a happy face I guess. He constantly was asking me this weekend if I was ok and I said yes just exhausted and stressed about house stuff. Which was true.
It's also hard b/c I want to set boundaries of you can't just come and go as right now it's like he's still there most of the time and just sleeps somewhere else. But I also know that would hurt my kids as they are not comfortable at his house and want to spend time with him where they consider "home". And he is still helping out, did dishes and laundry and cleaned our whole backyard for the kids party.
He hasn't moved forward anymore with the D as of yet, and doesn't seem to be as focused on it. My gut is telling me I just need to sit tight and not set any guidelines, as I think his mood has to do with feeling some of what he will miss if he goes forward.
Oh how I need to ungrump!