You need to stop the begging and pleading, immediately. It will only push your wife further away. Have you read Sandi's Rules yet? That's the best place to start (after reading DB or DR of course!)
What proof did you have? Are you able to see/hear what it is your wife finds attractive in this OM?
You said you have gotten the "ILYBINILWY" speech 3x total in your marriage. What have been her ongoing marital complaints? Are they valid?
