my wife always complained I never shared this passion of hers so I am now gonna see what all the fuss is about (know its theraputic). I am planning on growing her some flowers and giving them to her when the R gets better...and thats gonna take a long time.
Ray, getting a life is for you. Don't make it about her. You are totally focused on her in the above example of what you want as GAL. I can promise you one thing, you will not get any brownie points with her. In fact, she is going to be PO that you chose to get involved in gardening now.
Isn't there something you would like to do that you've not done in a long time? Get a hobby that you're interested in, before spending a lot of money of something that is not your passion. And....gardening is expensive and hard work. This is something your W wanted the two of you to share back when things were not on the brink of D. This will only provoke her.
And about the W warming up to you....no it is not a green light to to start talking about the R, or to make a move, or to think things are getting better. I couldn't even smile at my H without him thinking, "Yes! We're reconciled!"
If she warms up, just give her time b/c it will change again.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
