I think it's pretty concise as-is. This would be my final communication to her. I have not initiated contact since November, only responding to communication from her.
What would you cut out or modify?
This is your homework, dear. Go back and take a look at it again. Focus on what you would take out using DB principles. I'be be happy to assist you with this process. First..I'd like to see you post your re-worked draft here.
