Been Married 13 yrs. 9 yr old daughter, 5 yr old boy and girl twins. My wife says my actions are helpful not thoughtful. She wants me out because my presence makes her sad and drains her positive energy when she sees me. She tells me I am a good parent and positive there and with our friends. She says the last 7 years have been bad because of my communication skills and lack of sharing my feelings. 7 years ago I ended up getting sick, and it did damage to my job. I went through a bad period with jobs after that and finally got stabilized within the last 2 years. I bottled up everything and pushed her away, but I did not notice that it was a problem until 2.5 yrs ago. We have been to counselling but it is not working I am trying the 180 approach, but it is hard for me to distinguish what is thoughtful and what is helpful. I have always done housework, and other things around the home and with the kids. I want to do thoughtful things - actions are what she wants, but I am at a miss for actions. I am stunned and at a loss. I truly love her but she has no feelings for me other than the sadness and lack of fulfilment. Help in the thoughtfulness arena is what I need.
