My h started eating the cake bc my son didnt come downstairs fast enough for happy birthday. It really sux to think the parent you chose to raise kids with is now...this stranger.

Keep being a safe listener encouraging your d to share her feelings, and know that sometimes you just cant make it better. You need to model how to cope with those feelings, a skill she will need for more than this event in her life.

W being a crummy parent is between d and w, and when d can verbalize that to her mom they will create whatever relationship theyre going to have. What you say and do can make it worse but cant make it better. Be sure and tell d often that this is not her fault. (I could see being a teenage girl, since my whole world is about me, if my moms being a jerk there must be something i said or did or wasnt good enough for her to love me.)

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.