"He said, "Is there a reason you aren't wearing it."
D'oh. That right there (and I've heard all sorts of similarly illogical comments from my H, too) really shows how they are struggling and their thinking isn't clear right now. Things like that help me feel compassion for my H rather than criticism. I would think that anyone thinking clearly would put 2 and 2 together upon noticing the ring and think "of course she wouldn't want to wear her ring, I filed for D," no questions needed.
Yeah, he definitely isn't thinking clearly. I know it's mindreading, but I know him really well, so I feel pretty comfortable saying that he looked bothered by the fact that I wasn't wearing my engagement ring.
While I was at brunch today, H called twice and texted once. My phone was in my purse, so I didn't even notice the calls/message for a while. I finally called him back and he just wanted to let me know that he was going to the house to borrow the carpet cleaner. He also called while I was at dinner. I didn't answer again, but called him back about 15 minutes later. He initiates a lot of contact...far more than I do. Sometimes I think his friendly/non-necessary conversation comes from feeling guilty. However, my DB coach emphasized that his motivations don't matter (I can't know what they are anyway). No matter his motivation, I should use the opportunity for low-pressure positive contact whenever I can.
I know I've commented before that H is apparently perfectly happy living his single life, but that really doesn't seem to be the case at all. He looks, acts, and sounds pretty miserable whenever I see/talk to him.
