Hi 2B, good to hear from you. I'm trying. She is actually seeking me out! She keeps trying to be "nice" to me even though I am so angry. I am willing to bet that she actually thinks I want her in my life still. She has no idea how far from wanting her in my life I am. I am done being her anchor in reality. She has no idea how much our monthly bills are. No idea how hard I have worked to keep our kids in school while she couldn't work because she was too depressed and after she started to get better, her deciding I was to blame for her unhappiness.
I will make it. I have too for my kids sake. They can't count on my W that is for certain. I have seen her just throw them aside for whatever she thinks is more important at any given moment. I have to find a way to be here for them, to take care of them. My W can no longer matter at all, not in the least. I will not be "nice", I will not be helpful, I will ignore her pain and stress. I will not listen to her talk about her problems or be her friend.
Until now I tried to understand she is in pain, is hurting but you don't stop pain by doing what she is. At least not in my opinion. If you could see how she is always asking for my help or favors and at the same time she does this? She claims to have said things she never did, I said or did things I never did. Forgets what happened in the past and makes up fantasies about the future. I know I'm not alone. I know there are so many on here going through worse than me. I've just had so many years between her depression and then MLC. The fact she waited to I needed her more than I have in 20 years to bomb me. The fact that she let me get a vasectomy by telling me she had no thoughts about leaving and 12 weeks later saying she was thinking about doing it for "years". I'm just so tired. So despondent. So defeated.
I appreciate you both 2B and 25. You are both on the money with my sitch. I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
