Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden on you guys

[Barrybran]

So when she says that she will stay with me for the sake of it shes lieing? Just so I dont get hurt? I guess that makes sense

She's not lying, she's confused. She will ebb and flow between staying and leaving and her language will reflect that. She's not trying to protect your feelings because she's not interested in your feelings right now. When she speaks, let her do the talking, listen to what she says, validate important feelings she has and go away back to your own life.

She opened up today and said you dont understand and have not experienced what it was like when you were out every night.. she also said that how can someone change in the course of two months.. I dont believe she accepted that ive changed.

The bolded statements are feelings. They are important. They are also true. What she is saying is that your actions hurt her and that she doesn't believe your changes are for real. Your challenge is to show (and not tell) her that you understand her feelings and that she can believe that you are someone worth being with. This will require deep thought about your flaws, actions to address these flaws and patience because she isn't going to believe anything you say or do for a long time. In the meantime, you handle your own emotions by getting a life: doing activities you already do, starting new activities, spending more time with friends and making new friends, etc.

How do I hold back from being jelous? When shes out why do I feel the need to find out her whereabouts when shes already told me.. how do you guys stop this? Why the f is it so hard to do? Even with clothing.. and I also asked her today what can I do to make it easier for her.. and she replied finding someone else.. but the other day she thought I was looking at 2 girls that passed us and she got worked up about it.

Why say that then..

It's bloody hard, I'm not going to lie. It took me a long time to get used to my wife leaving the house without saying a word to me, not knowing where she was going and who she was with. Even now, I feel uncomfortable when my wife doesn't come home for the night. You need to wrap your head around the idea that she is living her own life and she is not interested in including you in it right now. At the same time, she holds you to the same standards that she expected from you within the relationship which is why she got worked up about looking at the other girls. Fun, hey?

The sooner you can wrap your head around the fact that you are not a part of her life right now, the sooner you will be able to move forward. Moving forward is not giving up on your relationship. You will wonder what your wife is up to for a long time. I still do. It becomes easier to kill those thoughts over time because you are living your own life. And when she feels you're no longer hanging onto everything she does, she becomes curious.

DB is counterintuitive. The more you read, the more you will understand.