I spent a week last month answering calls from OW and trying to reason with her. Thank goodness I snapped out of it and stopped letting myself get dragged into their games and shared delusion.
Yes, thank goodness.
But why do you talk to her at all? Is there more to that part of the story? How do you know her?
By now you also realize you cannot reason with somebody who is rationalizing their behavior by blaming you. Not your H nor the OW. The fact that you know about it is enough for most to stop. Since they don't, it's a safe bet they are rationalizing the behavior. You can't get through.
You can however remove yourself from that. Emotionally at the very least.
As for the boundaries, it's not likely you'll be able to enforce the boundary of him not bringing the son around OW. You can state that you don't like it nor want it, but it's not likely you'll be able to prevent it.
You might want to look for ways to minimize the impact to your son. That's in his best interest and is in yours as well.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
