Cross country DB with WAS

[Anders]

I have been reading "The Passion Trap: Where Is Your Relationship Going?" this past week. Good book which has really helped me understand the pursue-distancer dynamics in relationships.

I was always the pursuer from the start, and especially so for most of 2013 when in the throes of trying to reconcile our M. In retrospect, I really did prolong our timeline with moments of panic and being emotionally reactive.

The exception was during my WAS phase when I had completely given up hope that W loved me. Not surprisingly, she became the pursuer which only made me retreat further away. In my case, there was no OW/OP. Just an intense desire to be left alone and eventually, a fantasy of just going away.

You would think that having being a WAS myself that I had a good understanding of what W has and is going through right now.

However, it is only after spending time on this forum that the WAS concept became very clear for me. That I finally understood what I was going through and what W is going through.

Something for me to really reflect on.