My xh is really this mean, and there are many others like him - he doesn't use those words, but he is that unreasonable/cruel/hurtful/irrational/ obsessive etc. It isn't unusual for a MLCer - your xw is more foul mouthed than some, but that is style not content.
However, I am not interested in a blow by blow account of conversations - I got the gist of a particularly hurtful one from my youngest son recently, but not the details and we dropped it. . That is how you survive. Reliving this stuff isn't good for anyone. It isn't worth spoiling your time. Your son is an adult, and while he will turn to you for support, you do not need these re-enactments.
MLCers have to be right, and they do not care who they trash. It is that simple and that awful. The 'nice' kitty kitten MLCer is a rare creature.
They are that awful. It is so sad for them to be stuck in this horrible mode.
Focus on your life, and don't expect any change from your w. Apparently if they ever change we will know!! Or so I have been told.
