My H called from overseas last night to talk to the kids. When they were done with him he asked to talk to me and I surprised myself by being able to feel friendly but detached. So we were able to have a light, friendly, brief conversation.
He apologized for being away. (Not his fault; necessary to his work). He apologized for "all this" -- the state of the marriage, basically.
Sometimes when we're having a good conversation via text he'll apologize for "all this" and because I feel like I have to acknowledge him I will just say "I hear you." On the phone or in person I try to just ignore it.
I don't know what his apology means to him. I don't know what my accepting it would mean to either of us. I don't know what exactly he is apologizing for (does it include OW?) or if he really means it. I accepted a lot of apologies before he moved out but they mean something different to me now. My understanding of an apology is that a change of behavior is implied (I'm SORRY I did that and I don't want to do it again), but since he's obviously not moving home or making moves to change the way he behaves in the relationship then it's hard to accept an apology for where it's at. Or I just don't have all the information about what he thinks it means and because I'm trying to be dim/avoid R talks I'm not going to probe for it.
Any thoughts?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
