OW told me that she left her husband years ago because he drank.
Wow, she's quite the rocket scientist, eh?
Hi Julia,
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Many of us on the boards have struggled with alcoholic spouses. You will find lots of support here.
As a highly experienced mom and teacher of difficult kids, I would suggest you take good care of you (emotionally, physically and spiritually) in order to be the mom your son needs. The last thing he needs is for his mom to fall off the deep end like his dad. Make YOU your first priority.
Next, spend as much time holding him and reassuring him as possible. I think our kids, often and especially during trying times, just need us to cuddle them. Give him 30 minutes of cuddle time each day while watching a show and I bet you will see him relax some and roll a little better with the punches.
Hang in there. Set a small boundary first. Maybe the food? Something relatively easy to deal with..."I would appreciate it if you ate before you came over. I just can't afford to feed you and S right now. I appreciate you understanding."
Then, drop it. See what happens. In my experience with alcoholics, you have to be very, very, very clear about the boundary. Then, you have to follow up with actions. If he disregards the boundary, then, you will need to think of what is your next step. The food may be hard if he watches S at your house.
But, think about something small you can control. Start small and embrace your power. I guarantee you have wayyy more than you think.
Much Love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
