"I let him for a few seconds & then pulled away & said "I can't, its too confusing"."

Didn't you say that this was how you acted before in the past? If you want him to see your changes, you have to actually BE the change.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER