It has been pretty silent on my thread..and I could really use some feedback.
I know I shouldn't "keep score", and I shouldn't let his actions have any effect on me. And yet, I'm feeling frustrated:
H has D3 one overnight a week, and puts her to bed at my home 2 additional nights. On those nights, I get home at 8:30. That is our regular schedule. So, that means that 4 nights a week, he has zero parental responsibility. While I have one. And on an additional 2 nights/week, he has no responsibility after 8:30 pm. So, if he wants to go out, he has lots of flexibility-- certainly much more than I do.
So he emailed me the other day to tell me that he has plans on two of his bedtime nights. I already wrote about it above. I asked him to "trade" me another night that I needed coverage for. His reply was "I'm happy to come Put her to bed any night you need--assuming work cooperates"--and he doesn't think we should have to keep track and do one-for-one trades because "over the long term, things will work out somewhat evenly".
But the reality is that it is not even. I'll admit I was a bit of a score keeper, and at the same time I'm really frustrated that even though he already has so much personal time, he still has to infringe on mine--without even really requesting it. And I'm frustrated that he doesn't really seem to care that he will miss his limited time with his daughter for when any "important" social event comes up (in this case, I'm 99.9% certain it is to watch the world cup.
I can't think of a DB way to respond... please help! I am open to hearing other perspectives. How do I co-parent in a DB way?? This is an issue that is causing me to cry-- which I have done very rarely lately.
