Thank you, sir. I never had any doubt, but I really appreciate you saying that it shows. I'm a persistent SOB, and I've seen the destructive emptiness of self-pity and have vowed never to waste much time there. I've always been pretty intent on getting from point A to point B. When finding myself at point C, I assess how I got there, take in the unintentional scenery, then replot my course.
My fear had been getting out and running my own social life again for the first time in 20 years, but I've confronted that with GAL over the last 6 months, and although it's not my comfort zone, I have met some fine people and enjoyed their company. While I'm nowhere near as connected as my W, I've never needed more than a few close friends.
I still worry about how she will support and care kids if I pull the plug on this carnival ride.
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This may or may not be your wife (I happen to think it will be, but she may have to crash -- hard -- first)
We just don't know, do we. I have my doubts, of course. W knows I care because of what is said in MC, but she's also seen me drop the rope in everyday living. The house isn't really "home" for her anymore - we all kind of expect her to just fly through on her way to somewhere else. I know she isn't comfortable there. Kids ask where mom is - she's not there when they get off the bus anymore, and she's out most evenings.
Her commissions aren't flying in, so her exit timing is shot, and shockingly, OM1 did not leave his W to rescue my W and live happily ever after with her. I have an inkling that OM2 is waning and there may be an OM3 on the rise. It really doesn't matter any more and I don't care to find out. She may learn that D'd men in bars will hit on anyone, and it doesn't mean a damned thing, but I think she's scrambling for a new plan. The crash will come. I don't know that I'd take her back if she didn't crash hard. (and I don't say that vindictively at all)
And I'm learning in MC that W has so, so much to fix. She's made some good progress with her T this year, but there's a lot to do, and I have no confidence in her T anymore. And the level of commitment I would need to take all that on... hell, I'm thinking post-nup, which is no way to run a M. (that may just be me being dramatic)
Anyhow, I have my own plan. I know a lot of unexpected things can happen in a short time. (all bad, so far! C'mon 7!) I'm keeping an open mind and haven't cashed out just yet.
But much more importantly, D12 becomes D13 today. I told W this morning to brace herself, because we now have a teenager to deal with. I've been really careful to give her all the time I can over the last 6 months, and it has been the best time I've ever spent.
