Really just journaling now and trying to work my thoughts and feelings through...

I feel so caught between a rock and a hard place. I'm really unsure how to handle this nerf gun battle thing. I don't know if this is a boundary but I so do not want my kids to suffer and I suppose I'm willing to put up with quite a lot to avoid that. In the long run, if H and I were to D I would like us to be flexible for these sort of things. I am so confused. Hoping I will come to some resolution within myself.

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14