If it were not for being on the board, you would probably be in such a state of shock at this point (after OM#2) that you would not be able to function well enough to protect yourself financially.
I believe you. And there's still a back story that I owe you one day that will make your jaw drop.
I was working with one bank yesterday trying to find out some old valuations at the time of my marriage. We tried for a half an hour to go at the problem in different ways unsuccessfully, when he finally asked me why I wanted to know this so badly. I laughed and explained D law. He apologized and we went back to work. 5 minutes later we found enough info to figure out what I needed. He wished me the best and charged me nothing.
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She's headed for a bad place. Don't know when, but it's coming.
Oh, ya. And I'm pretty sure at this point that it won't hit her until I am no longer around to rescue her. But the kids are going to need papa bear.
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I know you are suffering, but you sound stronger. You are going to make it.
I'm disappointed that we got here. I'm disappointed in her inability to confront issues without running away. But I have no doubt that I am going to make it. What choice do I have?
MC session was interesting today. Again, I started off with a totally positive message to learn from past, leave it behind and work on future.
W tried to demonize me, but MC doesn't let her off the hook so easily. W says "I tried and eventually I learned not to bother." MC replies "Oh, so you checked out of the M without communicating." Threw W totally off her script.
It's clear that W doesn't want to fix anything, but she is being challenged a lot. MC doesn't let her deny OM, either. She is right in W's face. And MC will not let anyone spew blame.
W tried to say that all her CC's that went to collection were just "bills I hadn't paid". MC shut her right down and told her she had been dishonest about spending.
The hardest one was W saying I never had any involvement with the children.
W then tried to say she was concerned about message to children. She didn't want them to think it was ok to stay in a bad marriage. I asked about the message that when things get tough, you stop communicating then run to someone outside the marriage.
I don't know the net outcome of this MC. I think this MC might not be bad if W were into fixing things - as it is, it's R talk during an A. It's rattling some of W's story line, and right now, I don't think anything can hurt my situation, it's that bad.
Anyway, W was gone for a couple of hours after the appt - probably to the posse. At dinner, she said she was going out tonight, so that's either posse or OM. I just shrugged. Those kids (that I have nothing to do with) and I have homework to do.
Man, (as others have pointed out) you sound as good and as strong as I've heard you yet, Zew. There are people on here that I post to that I wonder whether or not THEY will make it. Not their marriages, but THEM (because we can NEVER predict whether or not the marriage will make it, and it's entirely outside of the control of the betrayed spouse anyway).
I know now that YOU will be okay. And fwiw, I think your wife is being a fool, and that you will be a GREAT "catch" -- for *someone* -- down the road. This may or may not be your wife (I happen to think it will be, but she may have to crash -- hard -- first), but you will find a much healthier, stronger relationship with a woman in your near future.
