own buz 30: My self-value, dropping the rope.

[sandi2]

I don't think you are playing games with us, at least not intentially. I didn't mean you aren't serious about this. I was talking about playing games with him. Not ha-ha funny stuff, but just like he's punishing you today for not going to the event last night. Don't you believe he knows how to get you back? He knows what will get your nose out of joint. He is punishing you......in his own game-playing style.

In the past, you would enter the game by trying to get even with him. So, if you are serious about dropping the rope, do NOT show any moodiness toward him over him being with X today. Not giving him a reaction is a great step for you, Magic. You may not be able to actually feel emotionally detached at the moment, but you can work on staying consistent with your behavior. Dropping the rope is when you stop caring if they have spent the work day with an X, or anything else he does. If you sull and don't talk for a few hours, or get angry and explode on him.......then you've reacted and it tells him that he got to you. If you don't care, then it doesn't matter.....and therefore you don't repay him tit for tat (behavior).

This one time won't stop his game playing once and for all. He will have to see you stay consistent. That will be your test.

I can't explain in one post everything to show you how to drop the rope. It will take breaking it down in smaller steps. But this one I have just described is a beginning.

Dropping the rope is not showing anger or coldness. It is not showing unhappiness over him. It is not punishing him, or getting revenge. All he sees is you responding to him (no better, no worse) as a business associate.

It is not encouraging any type of R. Not even good friends. It really doesn't matter to you (according to your actions). You keep things strictly professional. You no longer have an emotional rope tied around him. He has been set free.........and so have you!

It will be difficult b/c you have been so co-dependent, and b/c you work together. That is why you need to make whatever final steps on the financial partnership/business, so you will feel secure about leaving if you need to. Don't drag your feet.