Left Behind Newlywed

[Pluto]

I hear you, I think I've successfully slain the control demon. I am letting her make her own choices and clean up whatever messes come out of them. I don't have to like what she's doing, but I cannot stand in her way, either.

I had a rather long conversation with a friend last night who couldn't understand how I was dealing with all of this going on.

Here's some of what I had said - trying to channel my inner DB'er;

Hate won't do me much good. I resent what she's doing and how she's treated me, but that's not hate. And the thing to remember (for me) is that I resent her behaviour, not her as a person.

If anything, right now I feel sorry for her. Breaks my heart to see her self destructing like this, but that's her deal. I can't fix her.

That's not on me. I didn't break her, I can't fix her.

I realize that I cannot control her - nor do I want to. She needs to figure her stuff out on her own, and if she's willing to work on things, so am I - but until then, I need to look after me.