own buz 30: My self-value, dropping the rope.

[Georgiabelle]

MM,

You seem very sweet and intelligent, Magic. I just read your response about fearing that your h thinks you may not want him anymore or may let you go because you told him "no." Honestly, how has always saying yes to him been working for you as of late?

Brief hijack. When I was 21, I met "the one" (I feel silly typing that). I had just graduated from college and he was a senior. We had very similar values, goals, work ethics and upbringings. Surely this will work, right? He was never over his hs girlfriend. She was always the elephant in the room. He even referred to me as his fiancee for the early years of our 7 years together. We totally got each other. Same sense of humor, beliefs, etc. We bought a house together, sailboat, rescued 2 dogs, etc. We played house.

At the 7 year mark, I was done. Why? I wanted to get married and have a family and he did too. He never said it until I announced I was leaving. He wanted those things too but did not see that with me. I loved him very much and I never doubted his love for me. He was my best friend and was still pining for his hs xgf. So, I packed up and moved out. I was sad. Seriously. I listened to depressing songs and ate Haagen Daz in my new large walk in closet in my new apartment. I was petrified. Didn't he realize what a great fit we were? Didn't he know how good we were together? Friends and his family said he missed me. That he was just stubborn about getting married. I knew that may be true, but it was more about me verus getting married. (I am not saying this is your xbf) I would get excited that he was going to "come around." I was tempted many times to reach out to him about reconcilliation. I NEVER spoke of our R after that day. Never. Not a peep. We could chat and laugh (and we did-frequently), but never had any R talk. Why? I knew if he wanted to be with me he would show me. Because he knew where I lived. If he wanted to reconcile or at least talk about the R, he knew exactly how to reach me. He had my number. Several months later, I began dating my h and xbf married x-gf from hs. I went to their wedding. She left him a year and half later. He remarried a couple of years later. She looks EXACTLY like me and is very similar to me. The point? Xbf was never going to commit to ME even though he wanted commitment. I'm sorry that was long-it does remind me of your story.

Analyzing what you do is not dropping the rope. You x bf knows how to get in touch with you. If he wants an R with you, you will know. It will be very clear and obvious. That I am pretty sure of.