You have asked yourself a lot of really important questions. (I struggle with the very same things). But I think it's ok to pose the questions to yourself right now without worrying that you need to have answers to them at this moment. Just continue being the strong woman and mom you are, and take things one step at a time. Stay on your journey, and let your H continue on his.
Re: forgiveness... my H was the one who left, but neither of us were happy. Am I *that* much "better" of a person because I simply stuck around? It's not like I took any steps to make things better. Not sure how that compares to your sitch, but I do think of my side when I consider forgiveness, etc...
