own buz 30: My self-value, dropping the rope.

[makingmagic]

Good Morning Job ~ Yes, I made a decision based on me only. However, yesterdays struggle was about how to make a decision based on the position of dropping the rope. I want to be giving him his time, but not waiting anymore. I wanted to know what response to give based on that. I want to do the things that reflect I am dropping the rope!

Im not sure if it was the right response, as I don't know what giving up looks like.

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Good Morning Sandi ~ Yes, I have stopped pressurizing him months ago which I believe led to some interest from him. 3 days ago, I pressured again while asking for reconciliation. I do understand the "dropping the rope" picture. I have read it before. Tx. I did drop it and he wondered. It was a dance. But, I am tired of the dance. I wanted a firm yes or no, but got "I dunno" again and "I will think & give you a clear answer"...... So, I am hoping he is "thinking". Which, I truly believe he does from time to time, but not with any point to decide. I told him I am tired of circular convo's that lead nowhere. Time to decide!!! Its like he doesn't take me seriously or appreciate what is right in front of him...for now!

Maybe you make a point when you say that I don't realize all the things that are pressure for him... I guess I don't. But, I truly am out of his way and I have no intention of pressuring him any further. I want to know "his" decision, without my pressured input.

Last night after painfully making the decision not to go, was like me not picking up the rope. It is something that I would not have normally done.

I really felt that pretty much everyone was leaning for me to go... as long as I could bring my duct tape. I did not feel that anyone TOLD me what to do. Today, I am still trying to understand how going would have helped me/circumstance. I really don't get it. Especially coming from Starsky. I am not offended in anyway. I joke too calling it stfu or duct tape.

I can easily carry on today... its a new day. Although, I really want to take and learn my lesson from this. I am asking you Starsky to please explain further.... or if someone can explain his point, I would really appreciate it.

I can accept my decision to stay home, if it reflects the action of dropping the rope.... is it?

I want my actions to show that I love you but I am letting go.... I am not a toy that you can pick up and play with when you want. If you change your mind, I will listen to you then. I am not waiting.

How can I display my actions as above, but yet still enjoy time with him? I feel its contradictory...which is why I couldn't go last night, this is what I was twisting about... please help me understand???