hope456 - accepting my new reality

[Georgiabelle]

Hope,

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. However, I wanted to point something out that I noticed in your posts. You seem to have many reactions or feelings associated with h's behavior. That's normal and understandable. However, I see that you keep mentioning "you were disappointed" or "h surprised you" or "h let you down" etc....I know this is incredibly difficult. Drop any all expectations of your h. I know he wants to be "best friends." Many say that (I am not saying your h does not mean that)and things do change as the process moves along. There is no need to try to commit to a "label" (best friend) that honestly probably doesn't feel right at this moment.

Labug is right. Detach. Your h is not behaving like the h you married. IMHO, I would focus on detaching, your d, you, and keeping your R with h pleasant yet treating him like a neighbor you see from time to time. It sounds like you guys talk a great deal and some of those topics aren't out of necessity. It also sounds like some of these discussions lead to disagreement and hurt feelings. Which brings us back to detachment. Most of that exchange about the petition was entirely unneccessary and should have been condensed.

Keep it to your d and finances. Be pleasant, and don't offer to rescue or make things easier for you h. He is 35 years old. You can't rescue or fix him. It won't work. He has to make his own decisions and own all that goes along with those. We all do.

Hang in there:)