[BrightFuture]

Nero, thanks for stopping by.
“i'm lost pretty much about what the heck we're "supposed" to be doing some days. i guess i'm not the only one out here "stuck".
so bright- what're you thinking of doing? okay by me if you're stuck also on that stinkin fence - lots of company up here.”

You described me pretty well here. I do feel stuck most of the time. I am kind of on that fence too. I probably have it easier than you, because your H is still doing things for you and with you sometimes. Mine is not so much.

Job, are you saying that I need to completely stop doing ANYTHING for him? I just don’t understand where is that line of detachment and having the door open. He is actually gradually moving towards doing things on his own and not asking me for help. Today he texted me, because he was trying to log in into online credit card account and they asked for identification code that was sent to my e-mail. So, I gave him the code. I just checked the account and he changed the contact info, the mailing address to where he works now and e-mail address. I was furious. I’m still a secondary on this account and I want to use the miles that were accumulated when I was using it. I put a lot of miles on this account.

So, he is gradually removing me from his life, right? Surprisingly he didn’t change the login name and password. But it could be coming next. I just called the credit card company to make sure I am still on the account. His mail is actually going to different addresses. I only have some junk mail here, and I’m not sure about his Playboy, but I think he will redirect it too. Oh, and his bank statements. I am waiting to see what happens with those after he changed the credit card info.

His life is actually not that nice. He has no permanent address in the US. He doesn’t have much money and cannot travel like we used to. He wanted to go to Brazil this year for the World Cup. But he cannot afford it on his own now. So, to me it looks like even with these disadvantages he still thinks that ending our M was the best thing to do. And it hurts.

I don’t know what my action to shake it up would be. I guess I have only one option to file for D.

Job, you ask me what I think I need to do change the dynamic of my situation. You tell me that I need to let it go about the condo decorations, and then you tell me to advice him about changing where his mail goes. I am very confused. I don’t know where I need to be silent and where I need to set the boundaries. I thought that the condo redecoration would be a boundary. Am I really out of options here?


Do I need to ask him about the account changes or let it go?