Let freedom ring...

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks everyone.

I don't know what is gonna happen. H is freaking out pretty badly. He called last night while D and I were at the Dollar Store and left a message he wanted to talk to D. I had her call him and they spoke for about two minutes if that. S had a class trip to a waterpark yesterday so while I left to pick him up at the school H called again! Yeesh! He left no message so I just continued on with my evening. I had S take a quick shower and after he was done he told me H called or texted him and wanted me to call him. This was at 10 at night and I was exhausted so I just texted H and told him I was too tired to talk and I would call him the next day. H texted me at 3:45 am to tell me he wanted to talk to me and asked me to come to the house.

I chaperoned D's class trip to the zoo today. Three of her little friends and her. They were so cute but so much energy! We had a great time. We got back to school a bit early and they let D go home with me. I called H to let him know I had her and was it okay if she didn't go to daycare? He said it was fine and to just bring her to the house because he was already home. That was odd to know he was home already but I packed her up and took her over to the house.

H who used to be such a gardener and pride himself on not allowing one dandelion in his lawn, has let the yard at the house turn to crap. After three summers of not being properly maintained the yard looks overgrown and trashy. I didn't say anything of course. D rang the doorbell and H asked me to come in. I hadn't been in the house for a while but there was no emotion from me. It seemed cold and empty. Hollow, if you will. OW has helped H redecorate a bit but it feels cold and almost "staged". The stuff doesnt really fit the feel of the house. But it's not my worry anymore.

H told me he didn't have enough credit on his many credit cards to be able to transfer the funds from our marital credit card to his own. He asked me if I would be flexible in allowing him time to make it happen. He went on to tell me all his troubles with money. How he can't afford anything, doesn't know how he's gonna pull it off...selling the house isn't an option, property values going down, etc. I just listened and told H to concentrate on getting the house refinanced, talk to the bank and see where he stood and then we would see what could be done. He just looks awful. He isn't sleeping and he said he has constant migrane headaches and he's going to have to start working overtime to make ends meet and he hasn't been able to work overtime because he's too exhausted from running the kids everywhere, but now he will have to work overtime and he will need my help.

I told him a few of the things I wanted from the house still and he kinda stomped his feet a bit but half-heartedly. I told him we needed to sign up the kids for summer camp and figure out what to do for S's soccer. H just ran his hands through his hair. He is a beaten, broken man.

So apparently after two years H is finally getting what he thought he wanted. I hope it makes him happy. I wonder if he is happier now than he was three years ago? Hmmmmmm....

WH