Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[mdu]

Owl, thanks for the feedback. I hear ya and have discussed this with my DBing coach at length. First and foremost she advised to experiement and do what works in my particular sitch. In addition, because H was so unhappy in the M (truly, not just fog talking), I realisticaly do need to spend some time reminding him of the 'good' side of me/us. Yes, he maybe cake eating (although I have no hard evidence that A is continuing, he completely denies, but I do get that it's highly likely it is). I am just not in the best position to pull back hard and make him "see what he's missing". I'm probably not all that appealing to him at the moment, lol!

Btw, I am abiding by no M and R talks. It is just 'friendly' chitchat as you mentioned and I make sure to be the first to end the conversation. But overall, I think that refinding that we can be good friends will be a good reminder for him. Having said that, I certainly won't wait around forever for him to decide whether he wants to fully recommit to the M or not. But I am willing to hang for a a bit. Hope that makes sense! I know that there are very opposing sides on approach on this board.