This is tough love stuff, but don't be spending too much time chatting with H. He obviously likes this and you don't want him thinking you're buddies, and it's okay to have this OW. Unfortunately, they end up with their cake and eat it too philosophy. Happens alot with other people who try to become friends, etc. Read other posts, etc. Stick with Sandi2's list. Brief friendly, conversations. No M & R talk. Sorry. This has to be difficult for you and all of us DBing. We just want it all fixed, but the truth is it'll never be what it was in the past and can be better for us if we grow.
