Hi Bklyn! Just want to let you know something about girls when they get older, at least my kids. Mine are 14 and 18. Since my W went into her MLC world about 3 years ago, my youngest would have been 11 or 12. Right now with my W now filing for D, my girls know who has been there for them the last few years. My oldest is away at her first real job and has been gone about 2 weeks. She texts me every day and calls me often. She hardly ever does with my W.Last night she called late, just to talk (wow, that felt great!) and I had to ask her to talk to her mom who was in the same room and heard me on the call.
My 14 year old is so angry about the sitch but she also knows that I have really tried. When she needs to talk, it's me she comes to, not her mom. I encourage her to talk to her mom and never say a bad word. When she asks about something her mom does or why things aren't working I tell her that her mom is unhappy and is wanting that to change. That she loves her and it's not about her. My W on the other hand just for the first time last week said she thought D14 "may" suspect something is wrong in our marriage! How she can't see the pain in her own D is beyond me.
Both of them still act up now and again, their teenagers. But they are also old enough to know who cares about them. Who has been there while mom went awol. No one, especially the OW will ever be anywhere near as close to or important as you. You may not know it now but they do see that you are the one who will always be there no matter what. Keep being the great mom you are and sooner than you think, you will see just how much you mean to them. Who they want to share their lives with on a daily basis not just on the weekends. Believe me it feels great when you are the one who gets the call to share their joy or cry over their pain. I wish it was both their mom and I but that was her choice.
Keep on keeping on, Bklyn! You sound like you're doing great!
